MY PRINCIPLES
One of my favourite books is Principles by Ray Dalio, the legendary founder of Bridgewater Associates.
In Principles, Dalio shares his approach to life and management. One of his main recommendations is that everyone should have life principles:
Principles are helpful because the same kinds of things happen over and over again, and a relatively few well-thought out principles will allow you to deal with just about anything that reality throws at you.
Inspired by Dalio and driven by the realization that I've not maximised the learning from my own mistakes, I wrote my own in early 2018. I’ve updated them every three months since then as part of a quarterly review.
Over time, I’ve noticed that I started to have too many principles for the exercise to be useful. At one point, I had 41. My mind became overwhelmed when I reread them. So I capped the number of core principles at twelve, one for each month of the year (other principles - or old ones - go into a secondary list from which they occasionally get promoted). This cap means that I am always reminded of something when I glance at my core principles.
I’ve shared them below. Feel free to let me know when I fall short of them. I always welcome feedback.
I don’t know is the most powerful tool for learning you have. Don’t be fearful of saying “I don’t know”. For you, this is often rooted in confidence (or lack thereof). You would rather seem knowing than unknowing. The phrase “I don’t know” is the most powerful tool for learning that you have.
Resist the urge to ‘fix’ things. You come from a family of problem-solvers. Not all problems can be solved. Solving problems for others can also undermine their own growth.
One person’s irrationality is another person’s rationality. Other people’s emotions won’t always seem to make sense on first appearance, but they often have their own unrevealed logic. Give people time to explain themselves and don’t let your own frustrations or desire to understand get in the way of your ability to actually listen to them. Dr. Susan Johnson has spoken powerfully about this (“I see that you are hurting. I don’t understand all of it, but I don’t want you to be alone. I’m here”).
Surround yourself with people who make you feel and act like your best self. Invest more time in people who share your values, characteristics and skills that you want - who can teach you, but who also are willing to provide guidance and feedback even if it is uncomfortable for you.
Always strive to be humble. You are not better than anyone else. You are also not that special. Over 100 billions humans came before you and many will come after you.
Comparative analysis yourself in relation to others and thinking about what they’ve achieved in X time is not productive. Believe in yourself, don’t look at what others’ have and be jealous. Firstly, the grass is always greener on the other side. Second, be happy for the success of others. Thirdly, remember everything is transient - it doesn’t matter.
Do, don’t plan to do, and be wary of having too much optionality. Doing is the best metric of seeing if you are interested in something and whether you have the necessary discipline to follow through with it. Having too many choices on what to do can result in paralysis, less risk-taking and mean that you don’t actually develop anything. Pick, experiment and chart your progress.
Deciding what to focus on is a superpower. As Sam Altman says, it is much more important to work on the right thing than it is to work many hours.
When you’ve decided what to focus on break it down into as many steps as possible. If you can’t focus on what you are doing you are probably doing too much or structuring it in a such a way that you are getting overwhelmed.
Little reps lead to big outcomes. If you do 1% of something everyday, over the course of the year you'll become 37x better. Taking this further quantity actually leads to quality (or practice makes perfect).
Never ever be afraid of asking the obvious questions. Never assume that those above you have thought of these questions or bothered to answer them. People generally like to think they know what they are doing: they will continue dancing even if there are cracks in the floor and there is water coming through the roof.
How can I help you? Before thinking about how someone can help you, ask how you can help them. It pays to pay it forward. Your reputation is the most valuable thing you own.
Have the courage to be disliked. You can’t please everyone and not everyone will like you. Be comfortable in your discomfort.
If you are interested in learning more about Dalio’s thinking, check out his animated mini-series, Principles for Success. This series focuses on the life principles that have helped him the most.